Mr. Right

Mr. Right where are you

To find you what shall I do

Will I meet you at a club, Library, mall or sports pub

Will you look really good

For if you do, turn me on you would

Will you have a personality to match

Morals too, and no diseases I could catch

Will you treat me like I want

Or will you tease me and be a taunt

Will it be big or small

Should I judge you by it at all

Will you treat me like a queen

Will you be like nothing I've ever seen

As years go by, my standards get low

To a convent I may have to go

With thoughts of "Settling" on my mind

It's those who lack looks I often do find

I sit and wait for Mr. Right to come

Perhaps some day.....I will get some.

Ode To Being Blonde...Funny Poem

It matters not how smart you are

For if you are a blonde

Dead batteries in a new car

Will render senses gone.

Of course the doors are locked up tight

Forget remote control

The hood won't open, such a plight

To jump this Jag and roll

Oh, such a quand'ry, what to do?

The dealer said to me -Did the thought occur to you

To op'n it with the key?

Little Crocodile...

How doth the little crocodile...

How doth the little crocodile Improve his shining tail,

And pour the waters of the Nile On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin How neatly spreads his claws,

And welcomes little fishes in,

With gently smiling jaws!

The Earthworm (Funny Poem)

Mrs. Brown had taught first grade for twenty years or more. She was a real good teacher; all the folks knew that for sure.
One day in her zeal to teach her students helpful things She chose drinking whiskey, and the problems that it brings.
She poured some whiskey in a glass so they could plainly see, Then showed to them an earthworm. All the students squealed with glee.
“See how he wiggles and moves so fast,” said Mrs. Brown, and then She dropped him straight down in the glass. They didn’t understand.
She held the glass, and then she said, “Now, come and look inside.”They looked, and it was plain to see, he had shriveled up and died.
“Now children,” she said tenderly, “you’ve all looked at this worm.“Can anyone explain today the lesson that you’ve learned?”
All the students shook their heads, but Johnny raised his hand.“I know, I know,” Little Johnny said. “I know! I understand!”
Mrs. Brown saw Johnny’s hand and she was very glad. With glowing eyes and a happy heart, she looked at him and said,
“All right, Johnny. Stand up, now, and tell them what you learned.”“If you drink whiskey all the time, you never will have worms!”

The Panda (Funny Poem)

A big old pudgy panda bear walked into McDonald's one day.Ordered a Big Mac, fries and a Coke, and ate it all right away.He paid his bill at the counter, then with a great big grinHe pulled out a big water pistol and shot the cashier in the chin.He sauntered out to the sidewalk; the cashier followed him there.Drying his face he said, "Why'd you do that? It wasn't really fair.""In the encyclopedia, friend, the answer can be found."The panda said, and then he left, saying, "Well, I'll see ya around."The cashier looked it up that night. What he saw he couldn't believe.The encyclopedia said, "Panda -- eats shoots and leaves."

The Horse Ride (Humorous Poem)

Taking a romantic ride today,
We sat upon the wagon.
Suddenly the horse lifted his tail
And we heard a roaring dragon!

The deafening sound hurt my ears
And the smell burned the hairs in my nose.
My girlfriend sat and glared at me.
Somehow my fault I suppose.

It was my idea to take the ride,
But how was I to know?
It really wasn’t in my plans;
Didn’t know the horse would blow.

The noise and the smell were bad enough,
As the wind blew quickly by.
But I think the very worst of it,
Was the brown stuff in my eye.

My girlfriend’s face turned angry red.
So I figured I wouldn’t dare,
Advise her of the smelly pieces
Of horse stuff in her hair.

The horse finally stopped; my girl ran away,
Stubbornly lifting her chin.
I think that horse was enjoying himself,
Cause I’m sure I saw him grin.

A lesson learned for me today.
Although I must confess,
I laughed so hard I nearly cried
As I wiped away the mess.

My Cute Fishy Poem

Fishy fish munch, munch, munch.

Eats his food with a big crunch!

Fishy, fishy swimming by

He just looked! Maybe saying "HI"

Fishy, fishy swimming around

The mayor of his own little town.

Fishy, fishy Yummy, Yummy

Now...he is in my tummy.